Life is not just what we are but rather what we make of it. I am a daddy not just because of the title and the events where two people came into existence. I am a daddy because of what I do with that gift.
I am a husband of a phenomenal person not just because of that one special day of flowers and cake and blessings but because of how much I love that person and what I do with that gift.
I laid in bed trying to make sense of it all. That was 12 years ago and it still makes no sense. I could hold a knife, a burning tool, and a brush. Not for very long though but I could hold it. The pain touched and overrode everything everywhere. The opiates, the meditation, the prayers, relationships, jobs, vacations, travel, everything. Everything that is but one place: the place where I could escape and transcend my pain through creating the little teal in the caption above.
It was a Christmas present in 2001 to Karen. I had ruptured two discs in my lumbar area. I drug my left leg around in immense pain. It was the start of my life with pain and I can honestly say that there has not been one day when I haven’t been in pain. But I laid in bed and created the little green winged teal for Karen, wood chips on my chest while the dogs of pain I kept at bay. And in creating that bird, I found a gift that has helped me exist in the midst of mind blowing pain. I learned that I could escape my pain by doing my art work.
But I learned something way more significant on a much deeper level and it is this:
Life is not just what we are but rather what we make of it!